Squirrels get nutty over me while in my hammock

Saturday, May 31st 2008, 9:41 pm
By: News 9

By Christian Price, News9.com INsite Team

When I cook out, it's an all day thing. I string power cables for my radio and television. I hang my hammock close to my smoker, positioned just perfectly so that I don't have to get up. I make everything I can think of to supply the family with "fixins'" all week long.

Recently on one such day, my son and I were passing the day away in our hammock watching the smoke permeate through the branches above us. That's when we realized we were not the only ones in our backyard.

Two squirrels were actually staring each other down on a branch directly above us.

We know both squirrels, because every time we cook out, they both come and hang out on the fence. They are usually nice, pleasant neighbors to have around, but something was different on this day.

In the middle of the branch the squirrels were on was a beautiful nut, freshly exposed from its place it had been hidden.

My son started asking questions about what was happening and all I could tell him was, "I don't know. I don't speak squirrel."

The look these two squirrels had in their eyes I had seen before. It was that 1,000-yard stare people get when a fight is getting ready to happen. These squirrels were about to start throwing "hammers."

The squirrels started inching closer towards one another, ready to start laying down the law. As they moved closer to one another, the branch they were on started to sway. They both stopped. As the swaying subsided, the squirrels started back towards one another as if two gunmen on an empty city street. Again the branch started to sway. This time, each squirrel kept walking towards one another.

For my son and I, this was more entertaining than watching a chicken after a June bug.

In an instant, the squirrels pounced. As they did, they knocked the pecan off the branch, which promptly fell and hit me right in the eye.

Now I'm screaming for someone to bring me my sling shot so that I might seek out some sort of revenge. (I wanted to retrieve the pecan and use my sling shot to pelt them with it.)

No one heard my cries. My son was laughing his head off. The squirrels had retreated higher in the tree and were now looking down at me as if, "Hey, could you toss that back up here?"

By this time, my wife was outside ‘explaining' to me how this was my fault for setting the hammock up under the tree.

Where else does one set up a hammock?

By the by, I burnt my steaks and burgers because I was watching those two squirrels.