Originally Published: Feb 18, 2010 7:44 PM CDT
I love the Olympics...even when they're on another network. I love the human drama, the patriotism, the dulcid tones of Bob Costas in front of a fake fire. But everything could use a little improvement...even the Olympics. Here are my Top 10 Sports I Would Add to the Olympics.
10) Hide and Seek - Each country fields a five-man/woman team. One person is the seeker, the other four are the hiders. Then each seeker sets out across Vancouver to try to find the four hiders from Germany, Belarus, Norway, Uruguay, Pakistan...etc. The competition could take the entire two weeks of the Olympics...but it could warrant its own 24-hour channel. Awesome idea.
9) Triathalon - This would be a fun competition in the Summer Games. It would be even more entertaining in the Winter Games.
8) Shuffleboard - It is the Summer Games answer to curling. Plus, ratings will skyrocket among octogenarians.
7) Rugby - How is rugby not in the Olympics? How great would it be to see teams beating the snot out of each other.
6) Paintball - Heavy edge to teams from the Middle East. It's Winter Olympics equivalent would be a giant snowball fight.
5) Madden 2010 - One player from each country travels around on a giant bus playing Madden head-to-head. Players are eliminated one at a time.
4) Dodgeball - Seriously. This should be adopted right now. Gus Johnson does play-by-play.
3) H.O.R.S.E. - Anybody want a piece of Kevin Durant?
2) Competitive Eating - This could get tricky, but I propose that the host country sends out a list of five native foods one year in advance of the Olympics for practice purposes. They every third night during the Olympics competitors square off in an eat-off. One competitor from each country. Five event. Cumulative best eater wins the gold medal. Brilliant!
1) MMA - Sorry boxing and wrestling. I want to see Olympic submission holds. I want to see the French dude tap out as the American has him in a deep choke hold after using precision jiu jitsu to gain an advantage. This would be the most popular Olympic event of all time.