Originally Published: Oct 11, 2010 2:6 PM CDT
Good Monday Morning to one and all! I want to introduce you to today’s speaker. A man who was instrumental in the success of Oklahoma football in the seventies. He sincerely loved the players and would do and did do anything for them. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the man who goes by the name of Doyle-a-Roo Roo.
Roo Roo: Good Monday Morning. Good to see you are up and at ‘em. My circle of friends will tell you that I’m up 24/7. Pumped around the clock. I’ll make an opening statement and take a couple of questions.
I was worried Saturday night. Concerned that Alabama was going to be voted higher than the Sooners, even though they lost by two touchdowns to the Ol’ Ball Coach. But it didn’t happen, much to the chagrin of every talking head who could find a microphone. Questions please.
Tink: Why would you be worried? OU is undefeated, has played a tough schedule and is from a major conference.
Roo Roo: Tink, great to see you. Miss the good ‘ol days. I was concerned because of the same question that comes up year after year: do you vote for the best team or the team with the best record? Alabama would beat OUand every other team in the nationin a best-of-ten-series on a neutral field. But I guess if that logic prevailed, they’d still be number one. Let Vegas decide the thing. For example, Alabama minus 3 over Ohio State; by eight over Boise; seven over TCU. Six over OU and Nebraska.
J. Blackburn: Bob Stoops always says he wishes he didn’t have to vote? Does he feel that way now.
Roo Roo: Joe! Great to see you. Great memories of you Big Boy. You can betcha Bob wishes he were voting. Brother Mike too. We’ve seen how these things come down to the smallest decimal. Odds are very long that it won’t happen again, but a Mike Stoops vote would help, and Bob’s vote could ultimately be helpful even though you can’t rank your own team No. 1. The coaches’ poll is used and not the Associated Press. By the way, some people were talking in my office about Spurrier being one of the two first-place votes OU received. But OU didn’t get any coaches’ votes. Had to be a writer. Will someone confirm Mack Brown does not have a vote either. If so, that’s not right. Two coaches of two elite programs and neither voting.
Brookshire: I need odds. What are the current odds to win the BCS National Championship? 1. Ohio State 2. Oregon 3. Boise 4. Nebraska 5. Alabama Tie6. OU and TCU.
Carey from Dallas: I’m Carey from Dallas. Guess you know that. I want to know who is going to win our game with Nebraska this weekend and by how much? And what do you suggest I wear?
Roo Roo: A flak jacket. I’d say since NU is favored by 8 I’ll take Nebraska 31 -23. I take that back. Tom Osborne loathes Texas. Even though they are wrong, the natives feel they were screwed out of the Big
Marty: Hate to tell you Roo Roo, but I know more OU football in my pinkie than you know in your whole body. How do you grade the Soooners near the halfway point? I give them B for offense, C minus for defense, B plus for specials and B overall. You’re a lame-looking dude right now Roo. Hate to say it but you’re just hangin’ limp in those old clothes. Feeling okay?
Roo Roo: Yea Spartan, feeling good. Come on over and I’ll “fix ya’ a drank.” Since you know more than me, I’ll go along with all your grades but one. I give the defense a D plus. They are 93rd in the country in total d. I know the schedule has been tougher than most, but still, there’s no excuse for that.
JJ: Jimmy Paul and Bramaletti want me to ask you what will happen with Sam and the Rams the rest of the way.
Roo Roo: Made me sick to see Mark Clayton go down with the knee yesterday. Looked bad. Without him, Sam has no one to trust; no one to go vertical with. So I’ll say the Rams win two more games and finish at 4-12. Sam will be lucky to make it out alive. They play nasty football. Not the good nasty, the bad nasty.
Jossell: First time caller, long time listenerJohnnie’s Charcoal Oven? Sorry Roo. Got confused. This is the mixer.I’m holding for Al on the cell. Anyway(s), I understand you have an undercover spy in Louisianaa fella who used to work with you who is a Tiger-Bait an and knows the pulse of the people. We’ve heard your man says Cajun Country is on pins and needles waiting for Coach Les Miles to lose a game and lose a job the next day. What did ghe text you this weekend after Lester the Molester pulled another rabbit out of his Mad Hat to beat Florida.
Roo Roo: He said Les’ two remaining fans claim that great coaches win close games. They have proof that The Molester is at the top of winning the close ones. But we’ve asked the NCAA to put an asterisk next to his name. Like Bonds and McGwire. Shouldn’t count. Deserves an asterisk more than those guys. I never get to sit around and watch footbalal all weekend. But it was Veg City beginning with OSU’s win over that Louisiana team that Norman High could beat. Nothing against the Pokesthat Weeden and Blackmon are salty. But those Rajun’ Cajuns couldn’t beat a JUCO team. My emotions were more up and down than Wilt Chamberlain at a hot tub party hosted by Tiger Woods. It had to have been the 23rd TV game for me (don’t know if it’s true but Gameday reported that for the first time in history every game was televised somewhere) when the ultimate low-to-high moment came--nadir-to-zenith. Lester the Molester was on one channel. Lane Kiffin on the other. On channel 2,123 you had LSU driving for a possible game-winning score. On sister station 2,124 Stanford was driving for a possible game-winning score. The room agreed. Lucky Les would win the game. The question was what lucky bounce would go his way this time. Of course you know now how he faked a field goal and his holder flipped the ball over his shoulder and it bounced off the grass exactly down the line of scrimmage directly into the kicker’s hands. The room erupted into cynical laughter and severe cases of “can you believe it?” head-shaking. LSU wins. But deftly switching to the USC game, Stanford was capping off a winning drive. Seeing Lucky Lane distraught, disheveled, and desperate almost offset the luck Les. My friend has some good ones they are tossing around in Louisiana. Less Miles. Too Much Mileage. Les Is Not Best Miles. Lucky Les. Lucky Yes Miles. What goes around comes around. If you believe that then someday Lester will be dealt a series of mighty bad hands.
Roo Roo: Gotta leave it at that. Little teaser for you. OU has a couple of secret weapons. More than the return of rookie RB Roy Finch. Secrets they won’t fire out there at Iowa State. But secrets they’ll need in Columbia, College Station and Stillwater.
Remember that it’s hard to keep secrets. That you can keep a secret between three men only if two are dead. Keep it to yourself. When I give it to you, it’s hush-hush. If you can say it, don’t write it. If you can grunt it, don’t say it. And don’t grunt it unless at gunpoint.