Thursday, May 26th 2011, 1:28 pm
By: News 9

Originally Published: Oct 28, 2010 8:17 PM CDT


Manny the Moderator:  Good mourning ladies and gentlemen. With a heavy heart and a lighter wallet, I welcome you to the Monday Mourning QB mixer. Missouri whipped us last Saturday. Let’s get this thing figured out. Without further ado, let’s open it up for questions and comments. Blund, stand up and give us your two centssorry, I guess you are standing. Warning to members. Cut whatever you hear in half. Blund is on parole for excessive hyperbole.

Blund: In OUs last 19 losses (starting w/ USC loss in 2004 BCS Title Game), the Sooners have allowed 31.7 points per game. Opponents scored 30+ on 10 occasions.  Opponents scored 40+ on seven occasions.

Manny the Moderator: Nice info Blund. You want someone fired?

Blund: No. But I want the man with the football tackled. Heard a genius on the Blitz last nightOklahoma’s Own I might add, in rousing HDsay something brilliant. Wasn’t the tall guy from Stillwater. The older gentlemen from Edmond said that if “you don’t tackle in tackle football you lose.”

Manny the Moderator: Another good point my ladand wasn’t that HD something else? Don’t get on the lanky fellow. He’s smart, snappy and a handsome fellow. Blund, you started getting mad when you heard one of the Sooner defensive stars tell that USC offensive lineman that OU had thrown in the towel. Called uncle. No mas. You called it the lowest point in the Stoops Era. And you heard “The Insider” say that the program would drop a notch with the loss of Mike Stoops. Called it devastating. Let’s go to Coach Richardson who flew his prop in last night from Columbia --coach?

Coach Richardson: Blund, if you are suggesting that OU’s defensive coaches are the culprits then I move that you be banned from the club. Big Game Bob is about defense. He’s got quality coaches who just so happened to have owned the Big 12.  You are overlooking the good times and overreacting to the bad.

Manny the Moderator: Good stuff. We’ll get back to Blund in a moment because he always has a whippy retort. Let’s check in with Grumpy.

Grumpy:  The South will go to the last man standing. But it doesn’t mean the winner will be anything special. Bob’s just sick his guys didn’t give themselves a chance to win. Coach V has  some work to do. Can’t be all on the kids.

Durwood: First, good mourning. Second, where’s the bar? Third,  OU did give itself a chance to win when it went ahead, but Landry Jones and the defense then went MIA.

Jake: Good mourning: I love Landry and he may become a superstar. Great kid and good player. But until he quits flinching in the pocket and in the clutch, his teams just won’t win the big ones. And Durwood, second to the bar is a rotten egg!

Grumpy: It drives me nuts that Bob allows his assistants to decide who plays. I read someone who knows his stuff on Sunday say what the whole Sooner Nation is saying. Roy Finch should have played more (he wouldnt have fumbled like Madu). And I wouldnt trust the one coach to decide when to take out my garbage.

Manny the Moderator: Gosh, this is a record. Everyone has their hand up. Save time and when I say three everyone say what they are thinking: One, two three.

Everyone: Play Roy Finch more. Play Roy Finch more! Play Roy Finch more!

Kelly: Are they worried DeMarco might become disgruntled? Finch reminds me of Greg Pruitt. Hello. Goodbye. They were right when they said he can’t be touched in a phone booth. He’s the future and the future is now.

Taco: They always say they play the players who give them the best chance to win. We’ll find out. Why don’t they put Murray in the slot and move Broyles outside? With Dejuan Miller out this way they’d have their best players on the field.

Randall-Mahn: One reason is Ryan won’t touch the ball as much outside. Can you believe what he did the other night at 90 percent. Bob told my friend that he basically didn’t practice last week. He and Ryan said both ankles are sprained and that’s why he couldn’t accelerate. We were short-handed. The injury bug hit ‘em at just the wrong time. It’s Missouri week and first of the week we lose Dejuan, Ronnell Lewis and Ryan gets re-tweaked. Nightmare! And first play without Ronnell on special teams they run the opening kickoff back for a touchdown!

Manny the Moderator: Good stuff Randallespecially for an OSU graduate. You must watch Fox: Fair and Balanced.

Randall: No, I’m a flaming liberal, except taxes are going to kill my dental practice.

T-Bone: What’s going to kill me is the play at middle linebacker. That and the kickers. I knew Wort wouldn’t know what to do against a team that could really throw it. He was lost. Give Box credit, but he’s just coming back and looked like a drunk looking for his keys in the dark. The middle was open all night long!

Durwood: I said, where’s the bar?

Blund: Guys, I need answers. I’ve researched The Nation. Here’s what they are asking. 1. Why go for two so early? Isnt goal always to get it to one possession game? 2. Why a timeout on first and goal from 1 when you know you need the TOs later? 3. Opening Kickoff - was that first gap Ronnell Lewis gap? 4. The quick out routes to left side of field did not work in 2nd half. Why not throw down field to keep ‘em honest? 5. Did OU make any defensive adjustments to stop routes over middle? Made Gabbert look like Elway. 6. Is Jimmy Stevens done? 7. More plays for Millard? Hasnt been stopped all year. One of the more frustrating losses of Stoops era. Should have led by 14+ at half.

Manny the Moderator: Nice work Blund. What if the two-point play had not been dropped and they’d kicked off deep and won the game? Stoops would be called a genius. Most people don’t agree, but if you miss the two-point try the first time the argument has to assume you miss it the second time. You’d need two possessions then anyway. Probably not the best call but not the worst either. Sure don’t understand why they punted late though. Guess they felt like damage control was more realistic than trying to beat the million-to-one odds.

Taco: The only saving grace is what happened in Austin and Stillwater. We weren’t going to win the national championship anyway. Us against Oregon? Us against Alabama? Ouch. Let’s just go win the rest of them, get the young guys better and beat Boise in the Fiesta. What did I just say about Boise? Oh no. Didn’t think about that till I said it.

Hookie: I’m setting the over/under right now on rushing yards for Kendall Hunter up at OSU. 222. Anyone think OU can keep the motor-scooter Cowboy under triple twos? Cash only. And I’m saying OU has a 48 percent chance of winning the South, a 34 percent chance of winning the league, a 44 percent chance of beating Boise and a 55 percent chance of playing in the BCS title game next season. I’m setting up shop over there at the bar next to Durwood. Belly up folks. It’s a good mourning to put your money where your mouth is.

Manny the Moderator: Well folks, that’s a lot to digest. The losses really get the juices going. Let’s close in prayer. Dexter?

Dexter: Lord, please keep our men healthy. Both at home and in the huddle. Please keep Durwood out of the sauce.  Keep Blund from hyperbole exhaustion. Give Bob the guidance to know when to punt, pass or kick. When to go for two and when to hope to make an extra point. Lord, please send a kicker to town in the offseason. And Lord, please let the wishes of the hordes be heard. You heard them speak with one voice. Lord, please let common sense apply. Let Roy play more. Amen.