Make Parting Plans for Loved Ones a Little Easier

By Charles Bassett, NEWS 9

OKLAHOMA CITY -- Planning for death is something no one wants to talk about, but it's a necessary part of life sooner or later, and there are simple ways to make the tough task of making parting plans a little easier.

Every day, doctors and families have to decide what to do when lifesaving medical treatment is no longer an option.

Janice Swindler spends her days caring for her 91 year old husband Godfray.

"The plastic surgeon said there was no more they could do, and they said either that will kill him or something else would take him before because of his age," Swindler said.

Each day with him is special because there aren't many left. Godfray has terminal skin cancer.

"They didn't give us a time span on that.The way people talk, it's probably not going to be that long," Swindler said.

Dr. Brian Levy said with patients like Godfray, further medical treatment would not be in their best interest.

"When a cure is not possible, you want to make sure the patient is as comfortable as he or she can be as their days are getting closer," Levy said.

Read the Oklahoma Advance Directive for Health Care.

But families are not always in agreement with what to do with loved ones who are at this point. This situation played out in Florida in 2005 with the Terri Schiavo case. Schiavo's husband wanted to let his incapacitated wife die, while her parents wanted to keep her alive. Levy said this is common.

"It's like they could not think of not doing everything humanly possible in terms of ventilator, etc., etc., to try to keep their loved one alive," Levy said.

He said having a plan in place could put to rest any confusion. It's something Godfray Swindler did.

"He believes when his time is up, he's ready to go," Swindler said.

One choice Godfray was able to make was living out his days at home under hospice care.

Learn more about Alleve Hospice.

"If they are facing a life limiting illness, it allows them to make decisions about how they're going to be living those final days and months," said Deanna Barth, Alleve Hospice.

The other decision was documenting his end of life wishes. It's a service hospice offers, but you can do it on your own. The forms can be downloaded from the Department of Human Services Web site. They include a living will, do not resuscitate form, and power of attorney.

See the Do Not Resuscitate Form.

"They all kind of combine to basically allow a person to decide ahead of time what they do or don't want when they're making end of life decisions in terms of quality of life, comfort care, and how aggressive and extensive they want to be with their medical treatments," Barth said.

Read the Power of Attorney for Health Care form.

The forms can be filled by anyone over age 18.

After filling out the forms, experts said to make several copies, one for your personal file and one for anyone who is listed on the documents. Also make sure your personal physician is given a copy.

An attorney is not needed to fill out the forms on your end of life wishes, but if you move to another state, experts said make sure the form are still legally binding in that state.

While many families find the topic of death hard to talk about, professionals in the field said it needs to be discussed, especially with the elderly.

Swindler said the decision was never hard for them.

"We should be frightened, but we're not frightened. We just want to keep going as long as we can with the best that we can do," Swindler said.